PART OF ME MISWRITES?

Fortunately, that's not really the side of me you're getting tonight. I'm not here to throw myself a pity party, jsut making some observations about my opinion of myself.

I have grown more critical of my writing, which is a flat-out good thing. I am in the process of writing a novel (both as an exercise and because, fuck, maybe someday it'll get published) and as I was re-reading the early chapters, I kept alternating between "This is really bad, awkward prose" and "This is as good an expression of this idea as anyone could do, I think." I'm seeing problems in my writing and trying to decide what I think of them. I have a tendency to write scenes like essays - describe the action in terms of an emotional thesis. That's lame, I have to figure. But I do it, probably more for myself than anything, so I can orient myself in the scene as I'm writing it. Then it's something I can clear-cut in the editing process, provided I'm capable of discerning where the shit is amongst the gold.

I mean, some of it's got to be good, right?

That's the bad thing about writing. It's very hard to trust opinions. Maybe I was always encouraged as a writer when I was a kid, because I was so gosh-darn precocious that they needed to go along with it, and now it's too late to set me straight and learn different world. Or maybe I actually have some talent, and can cultivate that and go along with the plan and become successful (or maybe just published, and take a day job to support myself.)

Or if worse comes to worst, I can be like Belesconi and write horseshit that will make me millions. That sounds like a great plan to me.