HOPE IN ME

hope.

one of my favorite words of all time.
one of my strongest allies.
sometimes, my only.
hope. plan and simple.

i doubted, and i sunk into my self-pity
like a lush with a fresh bottle of 20 year
old scotch: comfort. but these feelings
persisted, and the questions mutliplied.
and sometimes it would eat me up inside,
sometimes it would kill me to think about
it.

but as it is with God, it's not always a slap
in the face or a lightning bolt. it was just
a conversation about nothing. but it turned
into something. the final nod i needed to
get on with things.

i'm definitely so much different than i was
at the start of last year. to phrase a very
sad person, "i'm stronger than yesterday."


this year will be good, emotionally. but as
for other things... only One knows. i do
know that it will be different. very different...